Dadisms

Dadisms General

Don't ask me, ask your mother.
I'll play catch after I read the paper.
Coffee will stunt your growth.
A little dirt never hurt anyone--just wipe it off..
Get your elbows off the table.
This is your last warning.
I'm not just talking to hear my own voice!
Stop crying or I'll give you a reason to cry.
Don't forget to check your oil.
You could drive a wooden man nuts!
You're only young once.
You're gonna like it, whether you like it or not!
The early bird gets the worm. Rise and shine!
If your friend jumped off a bridge would you?
You have things so easy!
Don't look at me in that tone of voice!
What do you think this is, your birthday?
How many times do I have to pound that into your head?
What part of NO don't you understand?
I don't care what other people are doing! I'm not everybody else's father!
Didn't your teacher learn you anything?!
Two wrongs do not make a right.
Don't use that tone with me!
Am I talking to a brick wall?
If I catch you doing that one more time, I'll...
Wipe your feet!
Enough is enough!
Don't make me stop the car!
What did I just get finished telling you?
My father used to tell me...
Act your age.
Go ask your mother!
Just wait until I get you home!
Be home early.
Fill your mouth with food and not with words.
New born child: "I've seen raisin puddings that looked better..."
Promises, Promises! (In response to "I'll never speak to you again!)
Is that a threat, or a promise? (Likewise)
You'll be sorrreee!
Hey, did you hear me talking to you?
Even a blind pig finds an acorn now and then.
"Here I taught you everything I know and you still don't know nothing!"
If I didn't love you so much I wouldn't punish you... I would let you do whatever you wanted.
·Headache remedy: Put your head through the window and the pain will be gone.
I feel for you, but I can't reach you from here.
You should visit more often. Your mother worries.
Go tell your mother she wants you.

Dadisms On Life

Who said life was supposed to be fair?
Always say please and thank you. That way, you get more.
If you forget, you'll be grounded till the end of the world.
Shake it off. It's only pain.
A little pain never hurt anybody.
Don't take yourself so seriously, take what you do seriously!
You're always a winner if you lose with a smile.
Four things come not back: time past, the spoken word, the sped arrow and a missed opportunity.
Life is a journey and you've just reached one of many speed bumps to come.
If you want to do something, do it because you want to. Don't do it because someone else did.
As long as you tried your hardest, that's all that matters.
If ifs and buts were candy and nuts then we'd all have a merry Christmas.
Don't believe anything you hear and only half of what you see.
If you're gonna be dumb, you've gotta be tough.
Worrying about things you can't change is like a rocking chair... it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.
It's hard to be good, and easy to be bad.
Don't tell on anybody unless you tell on yourself first.
The first liar don't stand a chance.
Laugh at yourself first, you'll take the bite out of others doing so for you.

Dadisms On Money Control

You'll realize the value of money once you start earning.
Turn off those lights. Do you think I am made of money?
What do you think I am, a bank?
If you're going to steal a car, at least make it a Cadillac
(but don't call me asking for bail.)

Dadisms On ME the Great

You didn't beat me. I let you win.
Now you listen to ME, Buster!
I told you... Now see.
I told you, keep your eye on the ball.
This will hurt me a lot more than it hurts you.
We're not lost. I'm just not sure where we are.
When I was your age, I treated MY father with respect.
As long as you live under my roof, you'll live by my rules.
I'll tell you why. Because I said so. That's why.
Do what I say, not what I do.
I'm not sleeping, I was watching that channel.
Any fights, I win!
In MY day......
When I was your age I had to walk to school in 10 feet of snow up hill both ways!
Hurt much? I didn't feel a thing.
I'm not lost, it's just over the next hill!
When I was your age....
That's not a tear, I have something in my eye.
I'm not watching television. I'm resting my eyes.

Dadisms for Boys

Big boys don't cry.
Don't worry. It's only blood.
Don't you know any normal boys?
You call that a haircut?
"Hey" is for horses.
You call that noise "music"?
Sit up straight, knucklehead!
So you think you're smart, do you?
What's so funny? Wipe that smile off your face.
If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times
You want something to do? I'll give you something to do.
What keeps those jeans of yours from falling off?
Eat it! It will grow hair on your chest!
Husbands are a sorry lot.
I love you, son!
"Son, don't ever get married. And tell that to your kids."

Dadisms on Girls

Don't give me any of your lip, young lady.
Young ladies perspire, they do not sweat.
I knew how to cook when I was your age, young lady!
You're not leaving my house dressed like that! What will other parents think?
Could those sleeves be any longer?
You look like a big lady!
Men are like buses. Just wait on the corner and another one will come along.
You can marry a rich guy just as easily as you can a poor guy.
I love you, princess!
You know you're always gonna to be Daddy's little girl...